


As Fire To The Sun

by lesbeeian



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/F, I don't know how to tag things but just know I got super emo writing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 04:47:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8357881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbeeian/pseuds/lesbeeian
Summary: Sera gets a letter that reminds her of stuff from her past, and Josephine needs her help with something.  She agrees but also needs a favor from Josie.  Emotional angst occurs from there.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [agenthill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/agenthill/gifts).



> This is a companion piece to a fic I have already written, but they can be read separately as well.
> 
> other fic: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8126806
> 
> Anyways thanks to Rory for always listen to me be emo about these characters and also for having world of Thedas vol 2 so I could fact check some stuff.

The arrow sank deep into the letter pinned against the wall. It was quickly followed by another....and another. Sera was so intent on emptying her entire quill into the innocuous piece of paper, that she didn't even notice Josephine enter the room.

"Sera," Another arrow flew into the wall. "I’m sorry if this is a bad time but I would love to talk to you about something."

Sera took a breath. "It's fine. Just got some rubbish news I need to stick full of arrows." 

The letter had been sitting there collecting dust for months. It had arrived right when she got to Skyhold, but had been buried by the stacks of books, she had quickly collected. The letter was full of mostly meaningless bank talk, but Sera got the gist of it. Lady Emmald’s entire fortune that Sera left behind in Denerim was gone. It had been seized by the state.

She didn't want the money really. She never had. It wasn’t even hers. Lady Emmald was dead and maybe it was kind of awful to reject the last wishes of a dead person, but there was something about the money that felt dirty. It felt heavy and filled with memories. It felt like giving in. She should feel happy that its gone, just some more weight from her old life lifted off her shoulders. So why did she feel so strange? 

"Do you remember that noble that you gave a...well more interesting hairstyle." Sera, smiled a little at the memory. That noble that turned as red as her dress. But the best part of that day had been after. When she had had that interesting conversation with Josie. Now it was Sera's turn to redden.

"Sure yea, Lady Tomato." Josie bit her lip. Sera could tell she was trying to hide a smile. It was a very cute expression. Sera turned her head and fired one more arrow.

"Yes well, Do you remember my telling you about her sister Eva."

"No."

"Well Eva is making a grab for power and the Inquisition would love to support her. The only problem is we need more information. Word has it that Lady Deveraux is about to throw a party in Denerim with all her strongest supporters. I thought this would be a great chance to see if the Red Jenny had any connections there. I know you are from Denerim and so..."

She paused. The candle from her clipboard dripped in to the floor in a long slow motion. Sera watched it fall, avoiding Josie's eyes. 

"I don't know. Denerim is a bit messy for me right now." Sera tried to manage a lighthearted grin, but it felt more like a grimace. Josie's eyes darted to the paper full of arrows on the wall. 

"Ah very well. I understand if it makes you uncomfortable. Let me know if you change your mind." But as she turned to go, an idea sprung to Sera's head.

"Y'know Josie maybe I can deal with a bit of mess actually. I just have something to ask of you first."

Sera yanked the arrows from the paper and handed it to Josephine. It was still legible but barely.

"Is there anyway you could do something about this for me?" Josephine scanned the letter quickly.

"Sera I had no idea you were related to the Lady Emmald, I-" Sera's face puckered up. Josie immediately changed subjects. "Yes I'm sure I can get some of this money back for you."

Sera relaxed, "Thanks Josie...It really-I really." Her throat closed for a moment. "I'll make sure Lady Tomato has a party she'll never forget." Josephine smiled. "So can I use bees or not? Cause I need solid info on that." Josephine laughed. She had a big laugh and Sera couldn't help but join in and for five seconds all seemed to feel right with the world.

Everything was wrong. The Red Jenny contact in the kitchen who was supposed to show never did and Sera had to bribe the kitchen girl with a lot of freckles to hide her "special box" under the table. It wasn't full of bees this time, but the result would be just as chaotic but with less possible injured kitchen staff. This would give Josie's agents plenty of time to make sure all their plans were in place, while also ruining some the party completely.

"You can never go wrong with a stink bomb," Sera muttered under her breath as she watched the mayhem unfold from the kitchen. It would leave no mess for the servants to clean up, but a lasting fishy smell and a slight mist throughout most of the dining room. The plan was done and now it was time for her to slip out. No one noticed just one more elf slip by, even the residents of the house. It was a mixture of noble arrogance and the fact that a stink bomb had just gone off in the middle of a mansion. She walked straight out the front gate, snickering slightly to herself.

The plan was to meet with one of Josie's people outside in the Denerim market. It was dark now, quite a contrast from the bright, if somewhat smelly party she had just snuck out of. However when Sera got there it was Josie herself standing there, looking straight at her with a satisfied expression on her face. 

"Normally this kind of subterfuge is more Leliana's territory, but I needed to confirm some thing for Eve before I went forward with our negotiations."

"You don't really need to give me a ton of details Josie. You help lots of knobheads and all, but usually to tear down much bigger knobheads. I trust you."

They looked at each other for a moment and Sera could feel that strange sort of hollowness in her chest. Not empty hollow, but light like the air, like her heart was hovering two feet in front of her. Like she couldn't quite touch the ground but that was okay somehow. She cleared her throat and gave Josie a grin, trying to regain some sort of composure.

"Also if I had known you were the one meeting me I would have dressed up a bit." She was in the kitchen uniform given to her to sneak in and Sera has not limited her snacking. The white front of the shirt was slightly covered in mustard stains."

"Its fine, Sera we know this is the fate of most of your shirts eventually." Sera could have been offended, but there was something about Josie's tone which made her feel like she was being laughed with and not at. It was not a feeling she was used to.

"Well..nice to know you get me like that, Goldie." The nickname slipped out. 

"Goldie?" 

"Sorry it just slipped out. I like nicknames and you're just always wearing gold and I don't know, something about you is just sort of golden?"

"Golden?" 

"Yea like shiny and pretty and bright..." Sera trailed off. She was getting flustered. "You're just...shite I'm shite with words. Wait I don't mean your shite, I'm-and you-." she sighed. "Do you get what I mean?"

Josephine was blushing. "Thank you Sera. That was very kind." She had a funny sort of smile on her face, the type where you're trying to prevent yourself from smiling too hard, but not really succeeding. They stood there with that same expression reflecting on their faces.

"Also Sera, I came in person to tell you that the money has been returned to you. The bank has no longer seized it and you can do whatever you want with it." She waved a paper from the bank triumphantly in Sera's face.

"Really!" 

Without thinking she ran forward and hugged her tight. Josie was quite a bit taller than Sera, but one can't discount the strength of an archers arms. Josie was lifted up slightly in the air and let out a small gasp. Sera quickly returned her to her spot on the ground. Her skin felt like it was buzzing. The smell of candle wax and soap was all around her. 

"Sorry, sorry." 

"No its nothing Sera, don't worry about it at all" She had a funny expression on her face, a half smile.

"What, whats with that look." 

"You're just stronger than you look." 

"Well you're welcome to test that any day." Sera waggled her eyebrows jokingly.

They both laughed.

As they walked back to Skyhold together, Sera looked down at the bank paper. The smile slipped off her face. Something was twisting in her stomach. 

Sera was on the roof again. Just staring at a piece of paper in her hands. Staring at it and trying to will herself to feel better. It was night and she couldn't even read the words, but still she stared. She got what she wanted, the money was hers again. She gave it to the orphanage she wanted it to go to in the first place. It was in a better place and she never had to be reminded of it again. She could be free. So why couldn't she stop feeling this way. Why why why. Why was she so guilty? Anger, anger was familiar. Expected. This was not.

Somewhere near her, a candle was burning. A soft voice called out.

"Sera?"

She quickly sat up and wiped her face. Footsteps were coming up the stairs and so quickly Josephine was there, on the roof. A dream was happening, but at the wrong time.

"Goldie? I mean Josie, What are you doing here." Josephine squirmed for a second. 

"I don't know. I was just taking a walk. I thought-I thought that-maybe...maybe." 

Sera tilted her head. "Yea?"

"That I heard crying." Sera flinched.

"Yea, you probably did." She couldn't look at Josephine. She knew if she did, she would either yell or cry some more and she didn't want to do either in front of Josie. "I gave the money to an orphanage. Just like I always planned to."

"I thought it was your money."

"It was my money, but at the same time it really wasn't. It was Emmald's. I don't really want to keep anything of hers."

"Then why did you want it back? If you don't mind me asking."

"Cause it felt wrong leaving it to sit with shitty nobles who were just like her. I wanted it to go to something good. Have something good of coming out living in that house with her. The only thing is-the only thing-" 

Sera's voice wobbled. Tears were starting to slip from her eyes.

"Why do I feel so guilty about it? I did something bloody good right? I did what I wanted to do. I got rid of the last trace of her like I wanted to. Why can't I let go of her. She only made me feel bad about myself and I'm glad to not have anything of hers anymore. Her and her stupid fancy house and shitty baking skills and her noble knobhead friends. Its all gone now. So why does everything feel so empty?"

Sera was full on sobbing now. A deep heavy sob that made her whole body shake. She hadn't cried like this for years.

"Did you know she wrote me a letter before she died? She asked me to come see her one more time, to talk. I never responded. I didn't know she was dying. I just thought she was spewing more of her crap, saying she wanted to talk, trying to rope me in again. I hated her so much, for messing my head up. I said I would never be selfish like her, hurt people like her. I would help the little people. But I feel so empty. Like I'm nothing. Like nothing I have done has ever mattered cause I was too selfish to have it matter. I wanted to change this shit muddy horrid world and now here I am crying over a dead lady I thought I hated."

Her mind was swimming and twisting but she couldn't get anymore words out. There was too much junk in her brain.

A hand was rubbing her back. Josephine was crying too. They sat together for a moment, huddled in a small pile, both trying desperately to find more words to say.

Josie looked into the horizon line. She was the first to find some, "I trained as a bard in Antiva. So many secrets, I kept, so many lies I told. I thought it was all fun and games at first. People died around me because of my patrons and I either didn't notice or found some way not too. I-I was a different person then. I had to be."

"Were you are pointy like Leliana?" Sera's sobbing subsided for a moment as she tried to imagine it. Josie chuckled.

"No no, not quite like that, but Leliana too was a different person back in those days. We seemed to go in opposite directions in that way. I was naive. We both were, thinking that the game was...just that. It ended in disaster. I-I pushed someone down the stairs in self defense. He died. It couldn't ignore my surroundings anymore. I vowed to use the game to make the world better, not worse."

She went silent. Sera put a hand on hers.

"Sometimes I still feel like I'm that person. I have the power to ruin somebodies life with three words. Am I really any better than the patrons who I used to serve?" Her face was solemn.

"Anyways my reason for telling you this is, that we all have guilts that we have to bear. But you, your actions Sera, know that you do good things-or at least I think you do. You try to help people. I wouldn't have asked for your help in the first place if I didn't think so. The world is....messy. We both do our part to work around that I think. You use it, I work through it." 

Sera's voice was cracking "And just know Josie, that you are nothing like those arsehead patron whatevers you used to serve. You are good. Bloody good in fact. You care, thats more than most."

They both looked at each other, with drying tears streaking down their faces. Still sitting so close, they lay down together and looked at the sky. The stars were bright. Sera knew she could map most of her important moments from rooftops, and this moment, this one definitely qualified. The ache in her chest had lessoned and as much as she knew her problems weren't solved, they felt a great deal more far away with Josie next to her.

Neither of them spoke for awhile. Just looked at the stars and lay next to each other. A quiet moment that was just the beginning for both of them.


End file.
